Surprise, Surprise

Life, as you know, is full of surprises. The hospital trip did not happen; the whys the wherefores and the whichways are not - at this moment - of moment.

But it does give me a few unexpected minutes to discuss toilets. You may have been hoping for something a little more inspiring. But then inspiring in the toilet can bring some unwanted odours to the nose. Noses I can talk about another time, come to think of it!

I have come across so many stories of the loo which seems unbelievable; like the exploding toilet in Leicester (pronounced 'lester' - don't ask me why), the World Toilet Summit (where I am sure they get a good flow), the Texas pan which overflowed with crude oil (and led to crude jokes) and, oh, so many tales which force one's punning hat on.

Toilet activity is inescapable; we eat, we drink, we digest, we extrude waste. Simple really. But getting rid of waste matter has become a topic which emabrrasses. We may wonder why, but the other side of the coin is that we seek euphemisms to describe the things that go on, or come out, or are the hardware. And that offers opportunities for humour; and that is where I come in.

There is a side to this most of you, happily, will not know about. That is all the illnesses which affect what is mostly taken for granted. There are an awful lot of these, some of which combine with severe pain. And often where impressive courage is exhibited. And often where the sense of humour on the subject is honed. After all, it is more positive to laugh than to cry.

And, believe me, there is nothing more embarrassing than being smelly in a public loo cubicle, and receiving the stares of other loo users as you go to wash your hands. And how do you make fun of that? Hmmm. Perhaps you'd like to tell me...

Or perhaps you would rather I flush this subject down the pan.

Joseph Harris